Today was the worst day ever. Oink. Food giver Eric took me to his art show, where people were eating pizza and drinking beer. OINK. What did food giver Eric feed me? CHEERIOS! OINK! All he had to do was drop one oinkin slice on the ground, and I would have been oinkin' happy. I got PBR teased real bad. To top it all, there was this freakin dog who was trying to smell my ass. Hey, if you didn't know, my ass is only to be smelled by hotties. OINK.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Current mood: hungry
I, oink, like making trouble, oink. Weather it's pooping on the stairs or turning over the trash, if I'm not supposed to do it I'm going for it, oink. It helps me get feed fast, plus the hair it causes others to lose is great, oink. Well off to pee on the rug, oink.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Current mood: hungry
What the hell is going on at the pad. The two food bringers are gone, and in their place is now the bringer of smelly crotch. Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the occasional dive into that fragrant zone, but food is my number one goal. Smelly crotch doesn't seem to grasp that concept, so I like to take massive dumps on the stairs to piss her off. She likes to scream this high piercing wail that hurts my precious piggy ears. Starting to piss me off.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Current mood: hungry Category: Pets and Animals
I'd just like to announce that I really like to sleep oink. It is almost as much fun as pissing on the floor. I usually try to get for 16 to 18 hours of sleep oink, but I never find it to be enough. Plus people are always waking me up while I sleep to force me to do some spins for the ransom of some delicious raisins. Gosh darn lack of will power. Anyway it is back to sleep for me. Oink.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Current mood: hungry
I like pooping in the house, someone always picks it up... So sweet!!! I like dumping without thinking it is so much fun. Timeto poop see yea.
Gonzo
Friday, November 04, 2005
Current mood: hungry Category: Food and Restaurants
For dinner I had two celery sticks, the peel of an orange, a scoop of small animal feed, and a scoop of pig feed. It was good, but I definitly could have ate more... a lot more. Oh well off to peeing on the floor, followed by bed. I'll be dreaming of all the food I wasn't given to eat. Oink.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Current mood: hungry
Well, today after a very disappointing breakfast (only one scoop of chow? gimme a break) I went and took a massive dump in front of the high one's door just to show him. Well, the huge guy came from his room and starting chasing me around the house with a broom. I started shrieking at him to stop, but to no avail. He eventually went back upstairs, and so I peed on the stairs just to piss him off. Later that day, I was interrupted from my nap by the high one, and he started scratching my belly in an intense way. Unable to resist, I shot my paws in the air and starting grunting with pure pleasure. Dinner was disappointing once again, and so I took another dump on the stairs, in the hope that the masters will sit in it while putting on their hoove-shoes.
hungry 
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